


War of blades and hearts

by ToxicGottin



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Blood and Gore, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, F/M, Minor Character Death, Reader-Insert, Romance, Slow Burn, Temporary Character Death, Tragedy, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-12 00:06:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28876143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToxicGottin/pseuds/ToxicGottin
Summary: With the discovery that Eren is not the only one who can become a titan, Edevane's concern increases, and now with an expedition approaching she feels his heart close to exploding with the possibility of losing the one she loves.
Relationships: Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader, Levi Ackerman & Reader, Levi/Reader
Kudos: 2





	1. Recognition

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first attack on titan story, I hope you like it,  
> Well, English is not my primary language, so if you have some tips to make reading more fluent, please use the comments.

As soon as Eren appeared in our lives, we had several discoveries, but we also had a lot of tragedies, unfortunately, it was necessary to get somewhere, I didn't place any blame on Eren's shoulders, but he seemed to do it alone.  
I take a sip of my tea, enjoying the solitude at the castle dining table, put my feet on it, we will leave tomorrow and I never have a good feeling when we leave, there would be no way to have a good feeling, always the most part recognition go back dead, we are a suicide squad for the people.  
— I think I already told you not to put your feet on the table, your boot is extremely dirty —  
I jump in fright in my seat and look back, finding Levi standing at the door, I take my feet off the table and let out a low breath.  
— You scared me Levi! —  
He approaches, pulled a chair beside me and sat down, I knew him well, my parents threw me underground in my childhood, and I had to turn around, one of those times my plan didn't work out, I was going be killed but he appeared, after that I didn't leave him alone anymore.  
— You always get distracted in the days before we left the walls —  
I rest my arms on the table and look away from the door  
— I always have bad feelings, I wonder if tomorrow could be the end of me ... Or yours —  
He looks at me a little surprised, pulling out the tray with the cups and tea, taking one and helping himself.  
\- Thinking about it won't help us, if we die tomorrow we can't do anything about it -  
Terrible at comforting me as usual, but at least he was trying  
— I still want to do some things before I die, I still want to see what people call the sea —  
He drinks his tea in silence, he seems to hear my words, but his mind is elsewhere, we as adults in the underground did not have time for dreams or disappointments, we had to struggle to live, I feel somewhat greedy for wanting so much, I I should be happy to be able to die seeing the blue sky, breathing fresh air, amid beautiful green fields that seem to have no end.  
— I cannot promise you that you will see the sea, but I will do my best for you to see it —  
And so he gets up, stopping at the door giving me a nod to follow him, it was already dawn, I should be happy not to get a lecture from him for being awake, he is in a good mood, in his own way, we passed by corridors and we arrived outside the castle.  
— Do you think Eren will lose control? I don't want to have to kill him he looks like a good kid —  
Sometimes I regretted the things i said, as soon as Eren went to trial, I and Levi took charge of killing him if he got out of control, now seeing the desire he seeks to achieve, I felt bad for him.  
— Sincerely? I don’t know what to expect, we haven’t seen him transform several times for the four eyes to tell us what the chance would be —  
I nod and sit on the bench, Levi sits next to me and we share the quiet moment, it was good, a feeling of calm and not discomfort, it hurts me to think that I might lose it one day, and it shows me how I am selfish, I would defend him with my life, I do not accept seeing his eyes close and no longer open...  
— You're thinking too much again, stop it —  
He gets up and squeezes my shoulder and starts to enter again.  
— Go to sleep soon, I don't want you passing out on the horse —  
I lean my head against the castle's stone wall, looking up at the stars in the sky.  
— Yes, captain —  
I bite my lip trying to get the heavy feeling out of my chest and get up, looking one last time at the starry dark sky before entering, I walk slowly through the corridors listening to the door that must be Levi's opening and closing, if I can sleep three hours that night i will thank the heavens, arriving in my room i open and close your door behind me, my desk cluttered and full of papers with prototypes of better weapons and gas pipes with more charge, i was trying my best, but still it didn't seem enough, taking off my boots I collapse on the bed, turning from side to side, blaming my insomnia on the bad mattress, a few minutes that feel like hours go by, and I finally feel my eyes weigh.  
I wake up when the sun is rising, some people are already awake, others are still taking advantage of the opportunity of peace offered, I go back to our meal table, being received by all our original team already awake.  
I smile and take my seat at the table, Petra offers me tea and I accept her generosity  
— Is Oluo trying to imitate our captain so much that he also woke up early? —  
I laugh a little, getting a short laugh from Petra as I feel Oluo's eyes shoot me, I would be denying the truth if I said he didn't try to look like Levi, but he was failing miserably, I've known Levi for more years than I can remember, and I should know more about his life than mine, I hear the door open, and just like the others I see Levi and Eren coming in, I feel my chest ache a little when looking at the younger boy... Not that I be old! I'm still 27 years old... I'm getting old...  
I hold the cup tightly in my hand and look away from Eren, looking at Levi, who was already staring at me, I feel my face start to burn and look at my super interesting cup of tea.  
Little by little I try to travel again in my thoughts, I did not touch the 3D equipment papers yesterday, there has to be a way to reduce the width of those boxes and let our movement with our arms closer to our body .... I feel the pain of a slap on the back of my head and I look around facing Gunther  
\- Commander Erwin will explain our training to recruits, you already know what it is so if you want to go prepare your horse, it's a good time -  
I finish my tea and get up, slapping Gunther on the back of the head in revenge, that scared me, after taking my complete equipment I go to the stables, which are incredibly empty, without a human soul.  
My Vortex horse, was isolated from the others, always alone and suspicious, nobody could get close to him without getting kicked or attempted a bite, only I can, so I needed to prepare all the necessary equipment and objects, these were hanging on the fence what it made my life easier, in a few minutes I finished the preparations and at the same time the new recruits left, I wait patiently until finally I see Eren, he was accompanying his friends as usual, but I needed to talk to him.  
— Eren! —  
I scream leaving near Vortex and standing in the middle of the yard  
— Do you need something? —  
Straight to the point as always, I like this boy  
— No, I just wanted to know how you feel about your first time outside the walls —  
He seemed surprised by my speech for a few seconds, but soon he has his gaze fixed again and straightened his posture  
— I waited a long time for this moment, I am happy with this expedition! —  
He seemed surprised by my speech for a few seconds, but soon he has his gaze fixed again and straightened his posture  
\- I waited a long time for this moment, I am happy with this expedition -  
I smile at him and cross my arms over my chest, I hope no one dies today, that would not be good for recruits.  
\- I know you must have heard this enough, but trust us .... In any situation -  
And after saying this, i turn my back on him and walk until I get close to Eldo and Petra who just left, Gunther and Oluo join us shortly after, we are waiting for Levi and Erwin to leave, for us to go to our purge, and for my unhappiness, they quickly leave.


	2. Forest of giant trees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The expedition begins, and things are going well in one part, many deaths, but the recognition was successful in capturing the female titan, nothing could go wrong, could it?

The start of the expedition was very quiet, even too quiet, Erwin had decided to give different information about where Eren was, it was a good strategy, Levi just told me to follow orders without talking about the mission this time, "Protect Eren, is what you should do ", so i closed my mouth, my eyes always attentive, i always managed to see more than the rest, and even ahead there was no sign of titans.  
But when smoke signals started to appear in the sky, things went wrong, and a lot, we were going as fast as possible, the sounds of running titans became more present, i felt like screaming, running out of formation and going back home, but i looked at Levi, filling me with determination again, i remained firm in our position, i could feel the struggle going on behind us, good soldiers losing their lives.  
With the arrival of a member of another group close to us, i don't need to listen to his speech to make my presentiment worse.  
— We have no signs of the right wing! Part of the right wing was practically annihilated! Pass the news on! —  
I close my eyes, sighing to myself, death has always been like that, there was never prejudice against her, she comes and takes, takes again and again, i always promise every night that I will protect Levi at all costs, and between him and Eren, i will not care if humanity will miss this opportunity, but I will never abandon Levi, he is worth it for all of us, and i owe him more than I can afford.  
— Petra pass the message on —  
— Yes sir! —  
Please Petra, come back safely, i have no idea what may have been necessary to cause such a disaster, and little by little i fieel my thoughts get the better of me, if i have to save Levi, the best thing would be, me in my death do not damage my gas appliances, he may need to use them to escape...  
— Do you see something? —  
I lift my head, i did not remember having lowered it, looking ahead I look inside the forest of giant trees.  
— It's clean, there's no titan there —  
Exchanging a quick look with Levi, i also look at my companions, all of them trying hard not to express their feelings, Eren was not restraining himself very much, it was possible to see this very easily, when we see the green smoke signal that should be Erwin, i understand your intentions, a few days ago he had talked about a capture plan, is that it? Entering the forest, that's what he wanted from us, changing our course to the left, we gradually see the other groups, Petra joins us quickly and then we go on, a few minutes pass, my heart squeezes, then the steps start to get high ... Steps, i look back to see a 15-meter titan running after us, some members of other squads appear to try to stop it, but they are easily wiped out, is that what ended up with part of the right wing squad? A titan... Smart, shit  
— Levi, what do we do? —  
I ask turning my gaze forward, being distracted looking only behind can cause an accident and bring the titan even closer to us.  
— Keep going! —  
He replies coldly, wouldn't we help others? What is he up to?  
— Is fast! In these trees there is no way to predict and evade attacks! It will reach us! —  
Gunther after a long time in silence decides to speak, if only it was something we don't already know!  
— Captain, let's use the 3D equipment... Captain? —  
Levi what's going on? In other attacks at this point, we would have already used the equipment and remained tall enough not to reach us, our goal is to protect Eren... Isn't it?  
— Come on! It is dangerous we have to kill! This way it will reach us —  
You speak equally obvious Oluo... This will reach us, and more and more soldiers will die...  
— Let's kill him right here so we came to the forest! Isn't it, Captain? —  
Gunther's doubts begin to penetrate my own, it wasn't to kill her that we came here ...  
— Remember what Erwin said to you last morning? —  
Levi speaks, looking slightly at me... Huh? But this has nothing to do with this mission, and now everyone will look at me crookedly... I didn't imagine that the theory that there are traitors in reconnaissance would bring us here, or better, bring traitors here...  
— Captain, your orders —  
Eren yells, looking back more and more, i understood, he wants to help, I want to, but we must stay here, Levi would have told us to abandon the horses if that was the right decision ...  
— Cover your ears —  
Without blinking i obey, and when he pulls a sound grenade, i finally understand, yes it is a capture plan, and yes this is the alert for those who are waiting.  
— A sound grenade? —  
Eren seems disappointed, but it will be worth it, even so if she takes one of us, we will have to act, this trap... This is a smart titan, Erwin hopes that Hange or someone in her group will be able to study this monster behind us? Or rather how does he intend to capture this monster?  
— Eren, the difference between your decision and ours is the experience, but it doesn't have to depend on that —  
Did i miss an important conversation? Levi is talking and when i look to the side in time to see Eren almost biting his hand, this is a very bad idea...  
— Choose, believe in recognition and me —  
I look back, she is close, so close... What the fuck! If Eren transforms, he can lose control again, he can kill one of ours, i look at Eren and try to keep as much subtlety in my voice  
— Eren, please! Remember what i told you earlier! —  
I look at Levi, even he is now a little changed  
— Eren! It's taking too long! Decide —  
I can see that he is thinking, i hope that this time he will stifle his need to help  
— I'll move on! —  
And that was a relief that made me relax a little, he trusts us, and we will protect him! I look at the path ahead of us... Harpoon cannons... I didn't this expect Erwin! Accelerating as much as possible we crossed the deadly field of harpoons and then...  
— SHOOT! —  
I hear Erwin's voice thunder, looking back we see, the titan is trapped, we made it! We finally made it, looking ahead i allow myself to smile.  
— Go a little further, tie up the horses and use the 3D equipment, you will be on your own for a while, Eld, lead the squad —  
He will leave... Why? I can't protect him from a distance, why does he do that?  
— When you get a good distance from the titan, hide Eren... —  
He looks at me, i can see an apologetic look, i feel my throat dry, the worry wanting to show, but i remain firm, remembering who Levi has become.  
— Take my horse —  
Then he jumps off his horse, attaching a hook to a tree and going back to Erwin, i accelerate and I can hold Levi's horse... When they decide to stop, I would be dead with the amount of questions that would be asked, i should have combined with him some gesture, but i didn't think he would speak like that!  
— Edevane, let's stop here —  
I hear Eldo say ... using my last name, was i that fucked up?  
I slow down with the horse until it finally stops and i approach the others to arrest the two horses, as soon as i finish i feel someone's hand on my shoulder, turning around i see Gunther with the rest of our people close by, but before Gunther starts his questions Eren says  
— That was his plan from the beginning! It is not? You can understand why he didn't tell the recruits! But... why didn't he tell for you? You have been on recon for so long? —  
I would have to speak at one time or another, so I sit on the ground leaning my head against the tree  
— Do you want the whole story? Erwin thinks there may be a traitor or spy in the reconnaissance, he thinks that five years ago some traitor came in thanks to the wall disaster —  
They look shocked, but it was to be expected, no one ever imagined this would happen, perhaps Erwin, but he is not like the others.  
— A spy? Has as? —  
Guther kneels in front of me, doubt in his words  
— At least it seems that this is what the commander believes —  
Eld responds to him before me, yes that was how Erwin thought, and i couldn't say that he didn't doubt it either.  
\- He only told the entire plan to soldiers who have been alive for more than five years, he didn't tell me everything, but it's understandable ... He always found my concern about Levi self-destructive -  
I can see Eren's look a bit confused when I say self-destructive, but it's not something I go out explaining to everyone "Hello! I love Levi! If he is in dangerous, i become a homicidal and suicidal people, for protect and save him " It is not inviting.  
\- I already knew! And do you know why? -  
Oluo speaks and I look at him, expecting a clearly stupid answer when someone asks "why", which is why I ignore most of the conversations in this group, get up and move away from the conversation that continued, pull my drawstring out of the blouse seeing Levi's painting next to me when we enter recognition, so I allow myself to smile, holding the little painting tightly.


	3. The massacre

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The female titan manages to let go, and remains behind Eren, is it possible that his protectors can really protect him?

A lot of time passed, we waited, we made small talk, and we used the moment to make fun of the faulty imitations that Oluo tries to make of Levi, I answered Eren's doubts about many things from our squad's past, enjoying the moment, together with Petra I try cheer up Eren  
— You did very well now, I'm happy to trust us —  
Petra nods, helping to improve my sentence  
— We will be able to discover that it is thanks to you! —  
Eren looks at us confused  
— I did not do nothing —  
He says lowering his head, I put my hand on his shoulder and squeeze slightly  
— As I said, you trusted us! —  
Hearing a groan behind us, we turned around, seeing Oluo with folded arms looking ugly in our direction  
— Hey, don't stay pampering him, what did he do? He was ridiculous! He was just whimpering ... Well, coming back alive from the first expedition is already very good, but it is only valid when the mission is over, listen boy, the expedition continues until you're in your bed —  
I snort glaring at Oluo, that's why he doesn't have many friends, and why ....  
An inhuman scream breaks from the forest, where Levi is, along with everyone else, we walk a lot, and my vision can't get there, it's too far, what happened?  
I try to walk forward but Eld takes my arm, receiving my irritated look, but he doesn't let go, I clench my teeth and close my hands in fists, please that it was nothing too much, because after the scream comes an infernal silence, and honestly, I don't know what's worse.  
— What do you think that was? —  
I look at my group already recovered from the shock caused by that scream, Oluo shrugs and Petra shakes his head negatively, and when judging the silence of the other three, they had no idea, well I can swear that the same thought crossed his mind. But nobody dares to say, it was the titan that we captured, it could only be that.

— I don't know what it is, let's wait until Captain Levi's signal —  
Guther approaches us as he says this, Eld released my arm and I was content to watch as far as my eyes could see, the back of my neck was still prickly, and I wanted to run over there, most people would run the other way, and rightly so, but I will not accept losing Levi to a titan, we wait, we answer questions from each other and we laugh at some jokes that I made, when the green light appears in the sky, we understand quickly that it should be Levi, so we follow, Eld and Gunther making fun of Petra and Oluo, and I just laughed.  
— You never told us how your first expedition went —

I look at Eld who asked this question, advancing more and more with the 3D equipment I finally speak  
— I didn't piss in fear, I was too worried about Levi to do that —  
We killed a lot of titans, he a few more than me .... When we saw someone with a recognition hood approach, I was confused, did anything happen to Levi? Why isn't that Levi, Gunther is the quickest to realize that, and before I can even think of what to do, the hooded person attacks, using his blades and cutting Gunther's neck, I feel a shock wave go through my body, but it is quickly replaced by hatred, pulling my blades I wait for Eld's fight orders as we move away from the person, Eren is devastated, so am I, we all are, and we will avenge Gunther, whoever person think it is? When we get it I’m going to rip your head off!

— You bastard, how dare you? May come! I will defeat you even if I die! —  
Petra speaks, turning around, looking at the hooded person, I repeat her gesture and I look back.  
— We will defeat you! And you can be sure that recognition will do a lot of studies with your body! —  
I hear a mutter of agreement from the three in front of us, we continue, but the person stops, disappearing behind a tree ... Shit is the titan, he will transform ... And that's exactly what happens, lightning comes from the skies , a huge flash and then she is running after us.  
— I knew it! She is coming —  
Oluo speaks, I look at him and then at Eren, who is close to bursting with anger  
— How dare you? This time, I will defeat you! —  
Not now, not again! We need to keep him safe  
— Not! Keep running away Eren! —  
I try to put my words firmly and Eld completes me right away  
— The four of us are going to kill the titan! You will continue at full speed to QG —  
I would like to let Eren take his revenge, but we need to guarantee his safety, the angry look on his face now, I'm afraid we won't be able to convince him anymore ...  
— What? Do you doubt us? —  
This coming from Oluo seems ironic, but it's better than nothing, we need his confidence  
— Do you doubt, Eren? —  
Stopping close to Eren I look deep in his eyes, and sigh weakly  
— Is it so hard to trust us? —  
So it seems to work, he looks at us one last time before leaving at full speed, I look back, seeing the titan almost catching up with us  
— I hope to arrive with both arms and legs whole at home —  
I speak in sad humor, getting a look from everyone who smiles.  
— Ditto, in case I lose any member I will curse you forever —  
Petra speaks, and then we go on the attack, me and Eld in a distraction, in order to get Petra and Oluo to blind the titan, and they can, a point for recognition! When the titan leans against a tree protecting the back of his neck, the attack movement that Eld gives us is obvious, I approach with the others making a blow very similar to what Levi normally uses, being much weaker but still, the arm fell, the other three managed to remove the other arm that is protecting the back of their neck, and we prepared to attack, we go fast and when we are close the titan bites Eld, breaking it in half, I release my hook near the tree when the titan starts walking and then running after Petra again, I'm close to Oluo, we start to follow the titan a little desperate, Oluo yells something to Petra that is completely muffled by my ears, the titan crushes Petra's body in a tree, I I can feel all the hatred in the world in my veins, so I go alone to the giant, she protects the back of the neck with one hand and tries to catch me with the other, I avoid cutting her fingers, I try to dive to blind the eye that the titan healed, but I can't escape it and from her second squeeze, she is able to hold me by both legs, I can see the dream of seeing the sea with Levi burning, I would not be able to protect him anymore ...  
The pain when she crushes my legs is hellish, I failed Levi, I failed my friends, I failed to protect Eren ... I look back to see Eren coming back, and the last thing I see before she throws me into a tree, my eyes darken and the pain is gone.


	4. Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Levi's group decimated, Eren fights with the female titan, and when collecting the bodies of Petra, Oluo, Guther, Eldo and Edevane something that shouldn't happen, happens.

— Levi we don't have time! They're after us! —  
The pull on his arm causing him to abandoned my fallen bracelet, he gets angry initially, but soon he is taking control of our leadership, stealing other bad guys is risky, but they are the only ones who really have money down here, we we need food and a place to stay, he in his 14s and me in my 11, stealing and escaping alive and with almost no scratches, we will laugh at this story later, and we will remember the angry faces of the adults when they realized the we did, but now, now it's running for our lives.  
— I'll buy you another bracelet! A lot better than that —  
He looks at me with determined eyes, a small smile escapes my face and I shake my head showing that I understand, we continue to run, climb walls, jump over tents, roll down ravines, never letting go of each other's hands, in our free hands, knives, we are always prepared for the fight, she always looks for us, and we learn this in the worst possible way, our race ends for when we reach our hideout, the noise made by our pursuers was stifled by the distance, and I I am happy to have a good laugh looking at Levi, he smiles at me and we open the door of the abandoned house we were in, my body relaxes a little and I sit on the old sofa that makes a horrible noise.  
— How much money for food do we have now? —  
Levi sits on the couch and I allow myself to put my legs on his lap, he looks from the bag of coins to me making his mental count of how many days for food we would have, since most of the coins would go to a shack that people call hotel, at least there we could take a shower after weeks without one.  
—Two weeks of food, if you don't overeat —  
I pout and look at him, and I slam one of my legs into his lap.  
— Edevane! —  
My surname comes out of him so easily when I manage to make him angry, and so funny .... But then, he starts repeating it over and over, and it doesn't make sense....

— Edevane! Wake up Edevane! —  
I blink in confusion, in seconds my memory of Levi dissolves and I'm back in the forest, the endless pain in my body makes me scream, blood gushes from my knee as a light layer of smoke surrounds him ... My knee? II lost my legs  
I look at my legs that are gradually healing, looking up I see the face of Hange and Erwin, they look shocked, no more than I, looking again at my legs I scream.  
— W-what's g-go-oing on? I-I died! I w-wa-as supposed to be de-e-ad —  
Hange approaches me, placing a hand on my shoulder, I am not a titan, there should be no way for me to heal, I was supposed to be dead with my friends, but I am not, why am I not?  
My legs in less than five minutes are back, Erwin keeps his gaze on me without saying a word while Hange helps me up.  
— What happened Edevane? —  
He finally asks, killing the hellish silence in the air  
— I should be dead, along with the others, the Titan crushed my legs, and threw me away as if I were nothing —  
Hange doesn't leave my side for even a second, my steps are wobbly, it was as if I had unlearned to walk, helping me to get on the horse, Hange climbs in front, she takes a long time to say a word, but she knows exactly what that I really want to hear.  
— Levi is fine, he saw you dead ... So it might be a good surprise for him...some at least —  
Leaving the forest with Hange, many of my companions, the recruits, Eren and even Levi, my Levi, seem to look at me as if I were a ghost, maybe I was, even if I tried to understand how that was possible, I didn't I could explain, getting close to Eren and Levi, I jump off Hange's horse, falling on my knees in front of them, before Eren can try to help me Levi was already putting me on his shoulders.  
— I saw you dead... Your legs were destroyed, how is that possible? —  
I look at him, with my hand i lightly hold his shirt, I can feel my eyes watering, but I don't care.  
— You told me to wake up, we were in our ruined house, you told me to wake up —  
He opens his eyes wide, holding me tightly when my feet falter again, but this time it takes my conscience.  
Waking up handcuffed in the basement of the castle of recognition was not what I expected, yes I know that what happened to me is not normal, it is something that happens only with the titans. Lifting my head, I see Levi sitting on a chair in the corner of the cell, he looks at me crossing his arms over his chest and leaning his head against the wall.

— This place is filthy —  
I rub my eyes with the palm of my hands, snorting incredulously.  
— You suck at starting conversations —  
He lets out a short smile, looking away from the cell, Erwin had certainly chosen Levi to try to get some information out of me, if I have any, my last memory was when I was eight, when I went left in the underground, before that, just a blank space.  
— At least I'm trying, and this cell really is very dirty —  
I look at the handcuff that holds one of my arms, and uselessly give it a twist, hoping that in some miracle it will come loose.  
— You can start with Erwin's questions and your own questions —  
He turns his gaze on me and shakes his head positively, for his behavior I can say that he never believed that I am a traitor, otherwise he would not even be here.

— Erwin did not ask many questions, and most I can answer for you, about the wall for five years, about your life underground, but one question I cannot answer for you, your family, who were they? Your last name doesn't count in any of the records that we have —  
Not in any record? I could have sworn by my vague memories that my parents looked like citizens of the Rose wall, I never cared much to find out about them, should I have any interest in the people who abandoned me to die?  
— You know, I was thrown underground when I was eight, I don't even have a memory of my life before that, I... I vaguely remember my mother's face, she had black hair, and green eyes, she didn't look be a really nice person —  
I stop for a while, hearing only a mutter of agreement from Levi, there was almost nothing he didn't know, my father I didn't remember him, it was like a blur.

— Now, I have my questions, do you think you can do it again? You healed faster than any titan we could study —  
Faster? I don't deserve that kind of power, it should be Levi's, not mine, he does take chances, I just had a bad luck, bad luck that would kill me if it weren't for this stuff.  
— I can try, but even if I heal, it hurts, and a lot —  
Levi kicks the cell grid, so I hear footsteps approach, Erwin and Hange were there, receiving a nod from Erwin, Levi gets up and comes over to me, releasing my trapped arm, massaging my wrist enjoying the feeling of freedom , Levi messes up my hair and when my gaze meets his, I can see that he is relieved. I hold his hand on my head.  
— Thank you, thank you for making me wake up —  
He snorts a little, trying to escape the embarrassment, Erwin had already left us, but Hange was still on the other side, looking at us with an idiotic smile on his face.  
I try to get up and Levi helps me, I was better than the first time, but I wouldn't say no to a support, taking advantage of our short distance, he whispers, not giving Hange a chance to hear.  
— Don't you dare die again, I don't want to go to hell to get you —


	5. experiments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Edevane quickly returning to the group, the experiments begin and strange conversations arise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, and sorry for the delay!

Taking advantage of the feeling of the grass at my feet, I walk across the lawn near our castle, the breeze shakes my long hair while pulling the rain clouds over us, it took me two days after leaving the cell to be able to walk alone, Levi considered this a very fast time, so i was happy with my recovery, even though some recruits still look at me ugly, I can understand his reasons, but I can't say that i care, my happiness increased with my good relationship with Eren, in some days, he he blames himself for everything that had happened, and i talk and comfort him, on other days he listens and consoles me, Levi would not be able to help me overcome this moment, even though we lived a life together, it never happened before.   
— Miss Edevane, Hange is looking for you —  
I look at the voice, i think his name is Jean, his name will become easier to record if i relate it to his hair.  
— Thanks for letting me know, Jean —  
I let out a weak smile, then walk towards where my boots are, let go anyway, i understand how she gets so dirty now ... I should be more careful how I leave my things, putting on my boots i head towards the castle, along with Jean, he doesn’t talk much during the walk, but people usually don’t talk much with me, i may have been nicknamed antisocial thanks to the military police, i really appreciate that, the men of that place have to understand what it means the word no.  
— They are saying that you can also become a titan —  
I blink sometimes surprise, letting out a laugh, lies spread like flies in this place, unbelievable.  
— They're talking a lot of shit —  
Or, maybe it's because of my short, thick sentences with people that I'm not intimate that nobody talks to me, damn mistrust.  
— Look, you can't blame us for thinking like that! We didn't hear anything! you were notified that you were dead, and then you left the forest as if everything was normal! —  
I stopped looking at him, they didn't notice anything, Erwin may be trying to confuse the traitors, thinking there might be someone else just like them, or making them angry, so they would try to attack me, and i can consider that dismemberment does not work, even if it must hurt like hell.  
— I understand your doubts... Well i can say congratulations, i couldn't be telling you this, but you are right...—  
I pat him on the arm since i don't have time to hit him on the shoulder, and head to the room where Hange would possibly be, turning down the hall, can i see that he's still standing in the same place, did it shock him that much? Did he expect it to be a lie?  
Opening the door to the room, i see Hange near a window. Levi is at the back of the room, and right in the middle of the room is a torture chair, was today the start of the tests? Have i been so distracted?  
Taking off my jacket, i sit on the chair without saying anything, i feel my whole body shiver, forcing me to release an anxious breath that i try to hide, looking at the sharp objects on the table next to the chair, i swallow dry.  
— You know I wouldn't do that to you, if it wasn't extremely necessary, if you evolve and manage to heal in the next minute and keep fighting, we'll have a very big card in our hands —  
Hange says, picking up an ax on the table, looking at the gun, she was shaking, torturing traitors was one thing, another thing, it was cutting a friend's arm off for years to test something that may or may not work.  
— If you keep poking me like a lab rat, I will kill you, four eyes —  
I say in a nervous humor, receiving a smile from her, which starts to steady her hands, seeing that she possessed my full collaboration, Levi approached the chair stopping on my other side, always present in each other's life, it would be romantic if it weren't tragic.  
Looking at him, i swallow my little pride, putting a smile on my face  
— Would it be too childish or too nostalgic to ask you to hold my hand? —  
He shakes his head snorting and extends his hand to me, i hold it tightly, on the outside i try to pass my cold skin, which would do anything for the recognition, but inside, i do it for myself, and for Levi, and i want to leave, get a gun and dominate the underground, build a big basement of rocks and cement and be able to survive down there, improve the lives of the children there, kick the ass of the bandits and kill all the abusers and torturers.  
— At three, I'll do it ... Don't look at me with that face Levi! I'm nervous! —  
Hange lets go, jumping a little in place, with his other hand, Levi consoles me, rubbing the arm that is holding his hand a little, i look at my other arm that would soon fall to the floor, and spread blood to all possible places, i'm starting to feel the pain before it even happens.  
— One...—  
My anxiety attacking now may not be a good idea, one of my legs starts to sway a little, showing my total nervousness.  
— Two... —  
This will bring good progress for everyone, can i get to see the sea, maybe swim in its waters, maybe there can be giant creatures there? Maybe... Who knows, i can declare my feelings when we are at peace....  
\- Three! Excuse me! -  
The ax descends with everything in my arm, the pain comes just as it came in the forest, i scream in pain and despair, the blood sneezes and spreads everywhere, i shift in my chair in blind despair, Levi grabs my shoulder, forcing me to stay still .  
Tears are streaming from my eyes as I'm trapped looking into Levi's eyes, I gradually realize the strength I'm using to hold his hand.  
— Make a tourniquet Hange! That was a bad idea! —  
I look at my arm, while Hange makes the tourniquet, the somewhat familiar smoke begins to appear, and the blood stops flowing even before Hange finishes the tourniquet, releasing my hand from the iron grip Levi returned, i touch the arm of Hange, she looks at me in concern, before finally concentrating on the smoke, removing the tourniquet attempt from my arm, i see him gradually recovering, i relax in the chair, while the pain is gone, while Hange celebrates a little while. On our side, Levi continues with his hand on my shoulder looking at my healing arm without saying a word if you want, i have so many doubts about it, i can imagine that they have more doubts than i do, and now, I can only think, as it will be hellish, relearn how to use the sword with that hand.


	6. Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More discoveries arrive, mostly good, but one discovery can ruin everything that recognition thought he had achieved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to say thank you very much! thank you for reading my story, I know there are thousands of stories better than mine, but you chose this, thank you very much <3.

We did the experiments several times after that, but when Hange suggested trying to cut me in half Levi "gently" denied the idea, the results in cutting my arms and legs were surprising, but each time we did that, I could remember when Levi and I told Eren what we would do if he lost control, remind me that Levi thinks this regeneration is disgusting enough for me, but he didn’t talk to me about it, and I wouldn’t ask.  
The recovery of my limbs was fast, but I still had some problems with hand-to-hand training, the sword I had already managed to master at first, but losing strength in my arm and legs in a fight was still making me impossible, Eren promised to train with me, which I didn't know, and that it would be with everyone looking ... I hate my life.

After stretching my arms, I put myself in position, fists raised and feet apart, Eren is already like this, I expect his first attack already knowing his predominant impulsive side, so he has been trying to hit me with a punch, I deflect holding his hand with mine , and I pull him close to me, hitting him in the stomach, my hand that is holding his starts to shake, even for his age he is strong, so as a last attempt to hit him at close range, I try to give him a punch, but I had forgotten about his other free hand, she holds mine and we were at an impasse, because of my height I would not be able to headbutt him easily, and I can see that he thought the same thing about me, when head butts I can only prepare for the attack, I the feel dizzy take in my head and one of my legs gives out, forcing me to kneel.  
\- You were stronger than that -

I hear Hange's voice behind me, provocation now serious? I give her a deadly look and turn my attention to Eren, he came over, had let his guard down, as if I wasn't a real danger after that, when he's close enough, joining forces that I don't know where they came from to my legs, I give him a creeper, when he falls I feel a feeling of adrenaline, my legs stop shaking and I slowly get up, smiling I go to him and place one of my legs on his chest, looking I look around for Hange who had gone to sit at some point.  
— Weak are you four eyes! —

My smile turns to confusion when I feel Eren holding my leg and pulling it hard up, couldn't he let an old woman win? When I fall to the ground, I get ready for his next attack, that would last ...Very long battle...  
The training ended when some people came to shout at us for lunch, most of the people went there shortly after, others waited to see what Eren and I were going to do, I sat on the floor wiping the sweat off my forehead.  
— It was good training, thanks Eren —  
I smiled at him, who sat next to me, putting his hand in his hair and I messed it up a little, he doesn't seem to care much about it.

— You weren't as bad as you said —  
I make a slight face, should I be happy with that? I think so  
\- You are not as horrible as before too -  
He gives me an ugly look and I smile, getting up, I look back, where those who stayed, coming face to face with Levi, who came to us.  
— Let's eat —  
Saying goodbye to Eren I follow with Levi, Hange does not come to join us which makes me a little confused.  
— Without Hange today? —  
— Have you seen her more than you would like I suppose —  
I nod, I always liked Hange a lot, but meeting her now is like losing members of my body, so I was okay with not seeing her up close today.  
After picking up our lunch, we sat in the corner, a strange mood hung over us, and I knew he needed to tell me something, but he tried to remain ignorant while we ate.

— What happened Levi? —  
I take a sip of the water in my glass, watching every move he makes, letting out an upset sigh, he crossed his arms and charmed me back.  
— Erwin told the court, about what is happening to you, they want a trial —  
I take another sip of water, trying to contain the restlessness that has settled in my chest.  
— the maximum that they can do and dismember me, I really don't die... —  
— We are going to the lake today, we have not tested everything that can kill you, so it is early for you to say that you do not die —  
This is true, but I would like to stay in my illusion of unattainable...Lake...Will he try to drown me in the lake?  
I start to eat my food without much interest, thinking now, there are so many that can kill me, hunger, thirst, choking, cold... I feel a hand on my shoulder and look up at Levi.  
— You do not die at the hands of the military police, or any of the others, I will not allow it, Erwin will not allow it and neither will Hange, so don't stress about it —

We ate, strolled, talked ... A little bit, I made some jokes and got slapped on the back of the head, even with him laughing at them, but I didn't care, I returned the slaps, so we are always even, little by little we arrived at the lake, took off my boots and Levi did the same, looking at him I smiled devilishly.  
— If I take my clothes off for this test will you be happy? —  
The look I receive changes from surprised to an attempt at coldness  
— Stay with your clothes —  
The smile remains on my face as we both enter the lake, at a reasonable depth, I sank into the water, feeling Levi's hand hold my hair, forcing me to stay down there, the last time I imagined him holding my hair. thus, it was not in this type of situation.  
Opening my eyes under the water, I could see a little better than the others, how much crap was thrown here! How much has been forgotten by others, will we all end up like this?

Forgotten, will our whole life put in the protection of people be just legends? How long have I been down here? I can't feel if I still have oxygen in my lungs or not, when trying to release air bubbles nothing came out, my body doesn't seem to miss the oxygen, I'm a fucking freak am I not?  
I close my eyes, I am the perfect type of machine for recognition, without the need to breathe, limb healing almost instantly, with intelligence and violence, Levi pulls me up a few seconds later, the only change now is that I am not under water, there is no need to breathe, but I do it anyway.  
— How long was it? —  
He looks at me, bringing my body closer to his  
— Half an hour, maybe more —  
— When is the trial? —  
— After tomorrow... —


	7. Judgment Part:1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Judgment day arrives, going can bring many problems, but will the return at least be worthwhile?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading !! ❤️ I know what i don't i write notes, but i'm shy;-;.

The next day passed quickly, more training, this time with Levi, which resulted in an almost tie, but his last attack broke me a lot, and he says he is not competitive.  
And at night I couldn't help but be upset  
— How long will you keep looking at me? —  
I look at him with an irritated pout, and I cross my arms and close my eyes a little.  
— You pretended that I hurt you badly to give me a surprise attack! —  
He rolls his eyes crossing his legs and getting ready on the chair, I knew it was a workout, and in life we have to use everything we can to win, but he knows me for a lifetime! It is not fair that I have weaknesses and he does not.  
— If I take you to the city after the trial, will you stop drama? —  
I look up at the sky, sighing weakly, the problem of knowing me my whole life, he knew all the ways to buy me, I turn my gaze to him, who was still staring at me, then softening my expression, I smile.  
— Take me to the field here when we get back, it's been a while since we lay on the grass to look at the sky —  
He shakes his head positively, getting up from the bench and entering the castle, he would return, when he did not say goodbye to me, he would always come back, this is a certainty that I have.  
A few minutes pass and I hear footsteps coming towards the castle door, it was not Levi, but Erwin, of course he would come and talk to me before everything happened, I fix my posture, complying with our acknowledgment.  
— Commander Erwin —  
— Captain Edevane —  
... Captain? I don `t what? My look of confusion seems to bring a small smile to Erwin's face, who sits beside me still in his posture.  
— I decided with Levi, to appoint him captain, there are many people now for the group of you two —  
I look at him swallowing and breathing hard, captain? I had already denied it once to be captain, they wanted to put me in another group, away from everyone I know and whom I love, so I strongly denied it.  
— This will not be another attempt to try to change groups, right? —  
Erwin shook his head, not looking surprised by my doubt, well the real reason behind it, he already knew.  
— We have already concluded that this does not work for you —  
I drop my upright position and let my body bend a little, supporting my head in my hands.  
— But that is not the main subject at the moment, your judgment is tomorrow, you are not in the same position that Eren was —  
Lowering my head, I feel the weight of it all on my shoulders again.  
— I know, I have a kind of control over this one of mine... Power —  
I hear a murmur of agreement from Erwin, and he slowly undoes his authoritarian stance.  
— Have you decided who will defend you? —  
I look at the entrance door again, this time the steps are light, this time it was Levi, bringing tea for both of us.  
— I will defend myself, who knows better what's going on with me than me? —  
My gaze remains fixed on Levi, as he approaches, Erwin realizes this, and he shakes his head with a bored breath.  
— You are taking too long —  
I look at him doubtfully, but he is already getting up, rearranging his posture and starting to walk, passing Levi, exchanging a quick greeting, and they both go on their way.  
Levi sits next to me, handing me a cup of tea, I take it and drink it holding it in our peculiar way.  
— Captain Edevane now —  
I faintly laugh, and I give him a silly look, on the outside I was very happy, on the inside I was screaming with happiness and despair.  
— Now we are on the same level Captain Levi —  
Sipping his own tea, he slaps me on the back of the neck, looking amused.  
— We have always been on the same level, you who lower yourself so much —  
I lower myself so much ... I'm taking too long... Should I speak up? If I'm on the same level as Levi, I should have his courage, yes! I should  
— Levi ... I need to tell you something —  
I put my cup of tea down on the bench.  
— Speak —  
I sigh heavily, I feel my body tremble a little, anxiety arrives and my breathing starts to become somewhat unregulated, come on! I am 27 years old I can do this... Even if it is the first time I make a statement...  
— I-I lo...—  
— LEVI! EREN IS PROBLEMS —  
I look at the door again, I'm really going to start hating that door, and I'm definitely going to hate Hange!  
Levi looks at me for a few seconds, seeing if I was going to continue what I said, but I just motioned for him to follow Hange, he said goodbye, and went, I allowed myself to slap myself in the face, and I following to the my room, dying in fits of shame and regret before falling asleep.  
I woke up the other day with a knock on the door, I already knew what would happen, so I get dressed quickly and leave my room facing Hange, she smiles at me and shoves a loaf of bread in my hand, then we head out of the castle, I must have woken up very late ...  
Going up in Vortex we went to the big city, Levi is not between us, nor is Erwin, and since the castle was silent, there shouldn't be anyone there... Where did they go?  
— Hange... —  
— You will understand everything when we get there —  
Thriller? Now? I may be going for my own assassination attempt!  
In an hour of travel we arrived in the city, an hour of desperate thoughts, and anxiety attacking, and in a few minutes we arrived at the courthouse, it was time to face religious fanatics, commercial pigs and the military police ... The hell seems like home again more inviting.  
Entering the courtroom, the military police soldiers came to us, lifting a handcuff for me, which I let them put in my arms, I could hear some disgusting comments from some members of the military police, but I just gave them my worst look.  
— Hange, where's Levi? —  
Before Hange even manages to open his mouth, one of the soldiers of the military police laughs and says  
— Captain Levi? Maybe we will send him to a cell next to yours when you are arrested and treated as you deserve —  
A strong shock runs through my body, my arms are trapped but my legs are not, but before I can get my boot into the place where it would hurt the most, Hange with other members of the reconnaissance hold me, they should leave! Let me show you who's going to be put in a cell.  
Hange stops in front of me holding my shoulders.  
— It won't help your judgment, Levi is fine, he's with Erwin —  
It won't be good for my judgment ... I should kill all these idiots, they think they are better than us, but they are shitting themselves when it comes to facing titans! So they came to the military police "to have a better and safe life"

— Come on then, I want to get out of this place as soon as possible —  
We walked in a great corridor, the military police in front of us, I joined Hange in the middle, and the rest of our squad in the back, Hange continued with one of his hands on my shoulder, on our walk, Hange started a subject that I I would like to avoid public speaking.  
— You like Levi a lot, don't you? —  
Looking away from the floor at her I nod.  
— I would kill and die for him —  
He frowns, removing his hand from my shoulder.  
— So you do everything he wouldn't want you to do, but deny the one thing he really wants —  
My gaze hardens and I can feel a certain anger, do I do everything he would not like me to do? It's not like she knows what he really wants from me!  
— So, what does he want me to do? —  
Hange gives me a smile as we stop at the courtroom door, which the military police quickly opens.  
— He wants you to live for him, obviously, doesn't he? —  
So we are in the room.


	8. Judgment Part:2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The judgment starts, will the answers be positive? Or will the military police gain authorization to turn Edevane into a laboratory experiment?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well ... Hello! I can say so i don't know how a jugament happend? Principally in shingeki no kyojin.... I try my best. 
> 
> Good reading<3

We enter the court, I walk to the place where Eren used to be, kneeling on the floor, they lift the heavy piece of metal, and lower it holding my chain, I lift my head looking at Judge Zackly, in my right was military police, and to my left the reconnaissance, Hange walks over to the judge's table, handing over his notebook of my condition, and after minutes of reading the judge in complete silence, he begins.  
— Captain Edevane, you are here for your healing ability, similar but much faster to the Titans, I pass the initial word, the military police —  
My desire to say "when the first word is not from the military police?" But I pay attention when they start  
— We are here, meeting for the second time, thanks to the recognition, I would like to get up here, which prevents Captain Edevane, from five years ago, having helped in the destruction of the wall, which guarantees us that she cannot transform into a titan also? The notes of your squad friends? Who may well be hiding the truth from us to protect one of their captains —  
I sigh weakly, fully understood by this, all the questions have the dumbest answers in the world, but please state the obvious that I know what you will say, captain of the military police, who is anything but police and much less military.  
— I suggest Judge Zackly here, that Captain Edevane, should be under the jurisdiction of the military police, to be a form of study, and if he gets out of control he is murdered! —  
Zackly maintains his impartial expression and looks at Hange, waiting for her to begin her defense.  
\- Captain Edevane, will make his own defense Judge Zackly -  
Everyone seems surprised, religious fanatics, seem to want to shout their opinions, but they were not asked, I smile, looking at the captain of the military police.  
— In your first doubt, captain, I could not be present at the fall of the wall unfortunately, I was too busy helping the injured people, and I have confirmation from all my companions, your second doubt, please cut my hand off , you will see that I will not be able to turn into anything! —  
I allow myself a short break, now would be the time to bring all my innocence, and rub it in the face of the military police  
— And I would like to ask, did you fight titans? Have you studied any? Have you ever studied anything in medicine? I am quite sure that no, you are cushions that will run away as soon as the wall breaks, it would not even need to fall! And I am not an object to be used, studied and thrown away, I have control over my power! I have been in recognition for over seven years! I've been through hells that you wouldn't understand, I lost my team to Titans, and it won't be you who will prevent me from avenging them all! —  
I look at Hange, she is holding a smile, and along with the recognition, everyone is motivating themselves, holding on.  
— Hange, come here, and cut my leg, I'll prove it to our police colleagues corru... Military! —  
Zackly gives Hange an approving nod, and enters the part where I am, pulling one of her swords, I sit on the floor, stretching my leg out for her.  
— Judge Zackly, I am not a threat, I suggest, that you trust me, and trust recognition, we were trained for exploitation, and we are the best at killing titans, we are! —  
So Hange drops the sword in my leg, I feel the pain, but I don't scream, I feel the blood coming out, but I don't despair, I am from the recognition, I am the second best of the recognition, and it will not be poor arguments coming from the police military, that will take that away from me.  
— That's enough? —  
I look at everyone in range of my vision, smoke takes over my severed leg quickly, and I keep my gaze steady on Zackly.  
— The sentence has been decided, the arguments of the military police have been refuted and put to the test, Edevane, you are allowed to continue in reconnaissance —  
I keep my gaze serious, I wouldn't show my happiness to the military police, they deserve nothing from me, taking the key from the military police captain, Hange loosens my wrists, and helps me to stand, my leg cut off, it was already disappearing into the steam.  
I won, recognition won, we won Levi, wherever you are, we made it, little by little everyone leaves the court, leaving only us there, waiting for my leg to come back.  
— I know I did a lot of suspense with you, and now it's okay to reveal that, we know who the female titan is, Eren is in town, so we can capture her, you already had a very full head, so Levi preferred that you didn't knew nothing —  
He decided? I am completely fine to know about it! He can't decide important things like that for me, he can't!  
\- And you and Erwin agreed with him? -  
Hange gulps away from me, my leg is back, and I walk around the place, kicking the chairs a few times.  
So I look out the window, looking outside, things were peaceful, hadn't the plan started yet?  
— So, four eyes, who is the female titan? —  
I look away from the window, looking at Hange and our little squad.  
— Annie Leonhart —  
Was the bastard who killed my friends one of the recruits? But she didn't come to the recognition with us ...  
— Where was she from? —  
Hange sighs sitting on a chair  
— Military police, I'll tell you our whole plan, sit down —  
Obeying I sit in one of the chairs, listening to the plan in full, they wanted to take it underground, to prevent a transformation that would put the city at risk, the plan was good, but I really wanted to be part of it!  
— When they capture her, can I hurt her? —  
It was a small request, I should have wanted her to die, but recognition really needs her, Oluo, Petra, Eld and Gunther wouldn't want me to screw it up for revenge.  
— You can —  
I smile at Hange, and look back at the window, a long time has passed, and the tranquility, previously seen, was broken when lightning strikes from the sky.


End file.
